SongLyricsSunday-“Lying” 8-6-17

One of my “areas of expertise” as a Psychotherapist is relationships, but do not take the following as professional advice. Certain decisions are 100% personal.

Something I have seen so many times is outright lying, and I still don’t understand it.

It’s one thing to engage, for example, in “cheating” in a relationship. It’s a whole different level of yuck to lie about it, straight to someone’s face…even AFTER you’ve been caught!

I can almost understand the act of being unfaithful…there is almost always a perceived element of being carried away by something bigger than oneself, feeling helpless in the face of something, etc.

But the lying part…willful…crazy-making…calculated…that’s the part that would do me in. I couldn’t cheat because I would suffocate under the incredible crushing weight of the having to lie part.

And the lying part ends up to be the most damaging part of the whole thing, not the act of infidelity itself.

People who do finally do tell the truth about cheating can rarely offer good explanations.

Even my own former husband, after 13 years of what I thought was wedded bliss, only had this excuse to offer when I asked him why.

“Well, I thought I could get away with it.”

So if you wandered and did not get caught, think long and hard before indulging in that guilt-relieving dump some people feel compelled to do under the guise of total honesty, or “coming clean”. It is usually just for the cheater to get out from under the hefty guilt-weight of his or her actions. Or worse, it’s a passive aggressive move to make sure your indiscretion is known so it can actually hurt your partner.

That is your shit to carry…possibly forever. So shut the fuck up and live with it. Deal with the real issues!

But if you have been busted, tell the truth, for God’s sake!!

Don’t gaslight someone you supposedly love.

 

End of obviously biased lecture of the day!

Lyrics from Google Play

There ain’t no use in me trying to tell you how I feel
’cause what I feel ain’t what you’re feeling
I don’t know what we did wrong
I just know if you come home
I ain’t gonna let you break my heart again

There ain’t no use in me trying to find out where you’ve been
Where you’ve been ain’t where I’m going
’cause if I ask you where you’ve been
The hurting starts and it don’t end
So I ain’t gonna let you break my heart again, no
I ain’t gonna let you break my heart again, no no

Tears don’t become me
Pain ain’t my friend
It seems like you enjoy my crying, baby
You always said that I was strong
But I believe that you were wrong
Lately, God knows, I have been trying

There ain’t no use in you trying to kiss away the hurt, baby
’cause it hurts where it’s deep down inside of me and it’s hiding
If you decide you’re coming home
You walk in, it won’t be like before
’cause I ain’t gonna let you break my heart again, no
Ain’t gonna let you break my heart again, no no

Written by David Lasley, Julie Lasley • Copyright © Universal Music Publishing Group
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Song Lyric Sunday Theme for 8/6/17

Evanescent for WPC 5-24-17

Evanescent
Evanescent-

soon passing out of sight, memory, or existence; quickly fading or disappearing.
“a shimmering evanescent bubble”

Oh boy, I had to look this one up…maybe because I am the Queen of Holding On, of refusing to let go of stuff, especially love and also beauty…in any and all of its forms. And PEOPLE, don’t get me started. I hang on to people, healthy for me or not. I am still in touch with almost every boy I have ever loved!!

So I had a hard time “getting” the definition of this word…

synonyms: vanishing, fading, evaporating, melting away, disappearing;

I learn so many lessons from sea shells. Having grown up by the ocean, I have been a collector all my life. But it wasn’t until an amazing sailing trip throughout Fiji, where we got to prowl along beaches so remote it truly felt like we might be the first humans to ever lay bare feet in that sand, that I realized I was a shell snob. That was my first insight into my own ageism. I only wanted those gorgeous, undamaged shells. In other words, the young perfect ones.

Even though we had to receive permission from the chief of an island to collect shells, it was the locals who pointed out I was gathering shells that might not be finished with their life’s purpose yet. Most shells are recyclable! I was stealing some hermit crab’s future home or maybe a pearl’s gestation container!

But this post is not about shells. My interpretation of evanescent is about all things with a life cycle, no matter how short or long. My lesson from the word this week is to remember how the Fijians (the iTaukei) taught me to fully appreciate beauty at every stage.

It’s easy to see and appreciate the evanescent progression in nature…

I can see the obvious beauty there…

But it’s a bit more difficult when I study the phenomenon of Evanescence while looking in the mirror!

Time…….passing at warp speed now!

That’s all I can say…

PINK!!

Pink

I already confessed my tainted (or maybe tinted) history with Pink several times in my Blog but I bet you didn’t read them so here they are again.

https://chosenperspectives.wordpress.com/2016/03/27/for-karuna-i-can-be-so-judgmental-sometimes/

 

Or there is also this one.

https://chosenperspectives.wordpress.com/2016/07/20/details-2-balancing-testoterone/

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And another one…

https://chosenperspectives.wordpress.com/2016/11/04/transformation-by-chosenperspectives/

 

How does something so BLUE turn into something so many shades of PINK??

 

Geez, I’m hounded by PINK!!!

Song Lyric Sunday 4/30/17 Consequences

Our musical challenge this week from Helen was to post a song about consequences…good or bad…and this is the one that came immediately to my mind.

No comments though…I wouldn’t want you to think I had ever made any bad choices in men or anything…..

Magic Man
Cold, late night so long ago
When I was not so strong you know
A pretty man came to me
Never seen eyes so blue
You know, I could not run away it seemed
We’d seen each other in a dream
Seemed like he knew me, he looked right through me, yeah
“Come on home, girl” he said with a smile
“you don’t have to love me yet, let’s get high awhile
But try to understand, try to understand
Try, try, try to understand, I’m a magic man”
Winter nights we sang in tune
Played inside the months of moon
“Never think of never, let this spell last forever”
Well, summer lover passed to fall
Tried to realize it all
Mama says she’s worried..growing up in a hurry
“Come on home, girl” Mama cried on the phone
“Too soon to lose my baby yet, my girl should be at home”
But try to understand, try to understand
Try, try, try to understand, he’s a magic man, Mama, ah, he’s a magic man
“Come on home, girl” he said with a smile
“I cast my spell of love on you, a woman from a child”
But try to understand, try to understand
Oh, oh, try, try to understand
Try, try, try to understand
He’s a magic man, oh, he’s got the magic hands
OoooOooo’s over top
“Come on home, girl” he said with a smile
“You don’t have to love me yet, let’s get high awhile”
But try to understand, try to understand
Try, try, try to understand, he’s a magic man, yeah, oh
Songwriters: Nancy Wilson / Ann Wilson
Magic Man lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

https://helenespinosa.wordpress.com/2017/04/29/song-lyric-sunday-theme-for-43017/

 

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Dear M.I.A. Badfish,

I have no good photographs, just a few snapshots, as proof for my current plight but I AM thinking of you this morning as I sit in the Starbucks closest to my house. We had to come here to thaw and eat and get internet….all things I have never done before…at least, not at a Starbucks. (Not a coffee drinker and there really isn’t much here I would normally eat.)

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pitiful snowman in front of Starbucks

You’ll no doubt have a chuckle as to the reason we are in this predicament…you, a Colorado Cowboy and all!

The Seattle area is blessed to never have more snow than just a bit of decoration. You know, a pretty dusting that everyone photographs and sends out to friends “See, we have snow here too!” The whole area shuts down and takes vacation days.  It’s not that there aren’t thousands of snow bunnies here. We just prefer our snow to remain in it’s proper place, which is 40 minutes away in the Cascade mountains at Alpental or Crystal Mountain.

I guess if these intrepid Hummers can make it, I should stop complaining!

We had a major snow dump here about 4 days ago…not the fluffy white decorative stuff, but heavy, HEAVY wet snow. The kind that tears 3 inch thick branches right off their trunks! And I’m talking about hundreds of beautiful trees. The result is our whole area looks like a tornado went through…downed trees, ripped off branches, and NO POWER!!! For days now.

Hey, I have camped and hiked my whole life. I’ve lived for days without any power or running water (granted, many of those days were spent at various outdoor music festivals and I may or may not have been assisted chemically to be able to ignore any such hardships) but I really am getting too old for this life-style. To have to come to a Starbucks for food, coffee, warmth (and to brush my teeth and sneak a quick sponge bath) is a new low.

I told you! You are chuckling, right? I know how spoiled I am, believe me. I realize how lucky we are to not live in 3rd world conditions (at least, not yet. I guess we’ll see after a few more months of “He Whose Name Shall Not Be Spoken” in office).

If we were in our mountain retreat, at least we’d have the woodstove for heat and cooking and we’d have water (icy from the spring and well, but heatable).

But here’s the thing. Short of the discomfort of having to beg for a place to shower and warm up from my newly un-estranged sister, (they have power at their house) and the risk of losing all my bugs to this cold, I feel incredibly blessed.

The Seattle/Bellevue area has a huge, seriously shameful number of homeless, and though I am deeply impacted every single time I see a makeshift home under a bridge or a small temporary tent-city, I still haven’t done anything.

I feel a resolve today I have never felt before. I can’t believe how bad it must be in the snow, the rain, the cold without heat and food and hot water. Maybe in some ways a lot worse than in a country where the norm is to live with the minimum for generations. I know in your travels you have probably seen such a variety of living I know nothing about, except what I read.

I don’t feel guilty exactly, well, maybe for all the bitching I do for slow internet or other mundane and trivial things like that.

But I do feel inspiration. No idea for what yet, but something.

I’m starting here, with a post from my dear friend Karuna, to get an idea where to start.

https://livinglearningandlettinggo.wordpress.com/2014/11/09/tent-cities-in-seattleking-county/

If the cold didn’t wreak such havoc with my particular thyroid disease (Hashimoto’s) I’d have absolutely no reason to complain. I could choose to look at this whole thing as a grand adventure, which I have been trying to do with my grandsons who live with us. Hey, they’ve had 3 days of school being closed so they’re happy, mostly.

But whatever I do next, even if it’s just to take blankets to a tent city, those boys are coming with me!

Thanks for listening Mr. Fish. I miss you.

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At my sister’s house, in anticipation of better weather