Details, Details…unfinished Holiday Gifts!

I had the delightful experience during the holidays recently of feeling like I had become good enough friends with several fellow bloggers to send them trinkets for Christmas (or whatever)!

But I feel incomplete. I still have THREE more to send.

One blogger is deciding whether or not I am a stalker. Here is her gift.

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Another person knows for sure I am stalking him but doesn’t seem to mind that much. Unfortunately, he is too far away to mail something to. I’ll just hold onto his gift until he visits us stateside. Or maybe I’ll just wear these in his honor!

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THONG SOCKS!!!

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And lastly, my most amazing new connection is in the middle of a huge move (after a life time of moving, maybe one of her LAST!) and I am hoping to hand deliver her tiny gift later this year when we will be vacationing practically next door to where she has moved!

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I have a whole story from my Dad about THIS quote!

I know this is an obscure post with seemingly secret references but think of it as a mystery! I bet if you ever read my comments, you can guess who these three new friends are.

As for the three who already received their tiny gifts (Blair, Marilyn and Lisa) thank you again for trusting me with your land addresses. I love these newly forming friendships.

My friend Karuna was right. The Blogging Community is truly special! I’m loving it!!

Cyber hugs,

Kathie

PS If you recognize your gift, let me know in a comment!

 

 

 

Dark Chapter

52 chapters/stories for my book…that’s how many I have written but the rape chapter is the hardest.

I started out being kind of namby-pamby about it. That’s the feedback I got from my mentor/auntie, an author I deeply respect. She said “Kathie, you have to remove the sugar coating and tell us what actually happened.”

It took many years, but I finally did what she asked, leaving out no disturbing detail. To that version, she responded with “Well, maybe not THAT detailed!”

So I am trying a completely different approach this time.

I am house-sitting for dear friends as I write this. I am in a situation I rarely put myself in…alone for days (and worse, nights) in an unfamiliar house, in a very remote setting. I did all the things that for me are normal when I am in any new place… checked out all conceivable exits…found the quickest routes away from the house, noticing fast exit dangers, like locked gates, stuff to trip over, etc.….discovered any weaknesses in normal security (windows, door locks) and tested how they all sound. And I found the best hiding places inside the house in case escape is not an option.

It’s a pain in the butt to be me.

The point of telling you this is that even though I have done a shitload of therapy and healing work on having been raped, one result remains the same. I live my life differently than most people.

Here’s the opening I wrote when my mentor requested a more “detailed version”, but I edited it in this draft to honor her feedback to not be THAT detailed….

If I do ever get this chapter on paper the way I want it, I will keep my original title.

What I want to know is would you want to read a story that starts like this???

“Being Raped”

Being Raped has to be the title of this chapter. The odd tense of the word “being” implies a current circumstance that captures the experience, as if describing a state of being rather than an action.

That’s why it’s perfect.

In an instant, an event like this can become the definition of WHO you are. There is a part of the act, the trauma, the experience that continues in your body, your psyche, your mind, and your heart…as if it is in fact, still happening right now, always in the present tense.

If you have been raped, the incident just goes on and on and on, granted less loudly with time. But for you, intrusion, in any form will shock your body right back awake, no matter how far into the back of your Secret’s Closet you’ve shoved that rape, hoping to keep it fast asleep.

This will be true for the rest of your life…no matter how much therapeutic work you do. No matter how deeply you are able to heal.

You will never not know the terror of being awakened with a knife at your throat.

You will never not remember the feeling of being held down in your own bed by two men.

And you will never forget the popping sound of a gun being fired in the middle of this surprisingly quiet chaos… rousing the thought that though you may survive this knife, you still might end up getting shot!

All comments welcome! Thank you.

Black and White, Dark and Light

https://chosenperspectives.wordpress.com/2016/01/08/black-and-white-light-and-dark/

The link above is to a disclaimer I wrote back in January, expecting maybe to share more dark true stories, but only a couple thus far have insisted on being written.

I also wrote it when I only had a handful of followers. I am delighted and so surprised that I now have 142 amazing people who read what I write and who look at my photos. I feel so honored.

I love the exchanges I am having with so many of you. I feel like I am actually forming friendships, not something I really expected from blogging! (even though you told me I would, Karuna!) And it may be those friendships that are inspiring me to dig a bit deeper now in my sharing.

Anyway, I thought I would repeat the warning, you know, just in case you are not in the mood for “dark”. I can feel a couple of those stories bubbling up to the surface here soon.

If you do read them, I’d love a comment, any response, but especially if you think the story might have value for someone maybe working through something similar.

Thanks so much.

Kathie

 

“featured image” above is artwork by 10 year old Julius. A gift for the wall by my writing desk.

Admiration on chosenperspectives for WPC

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Undying admiration and gratitude for my long, LONG-time friend, Karuna. Our paths (in probably 30 years) have crossed, paralleled, drifted apart and re-linked more than a few times.

I won’t tell you my version of her whole biography. You can read that for yourself on

https://livinglearningandlettinggo.wordpress.com

But you won’t find a more courageous, adventurous, giving, dedicated, ethical and loving person, teacher, friend and mother.

Let me just say that what I am currently admiring most is her seemingly endless patience with me as my “Blog Coach” (and butt kicker)! Thanks Karuna for pushing (encouraging) me to do a WordPress Blog. I’m loving it and all the wonderful, talented, amazing people I am meeting.

PS Before you complain about the photo, Karuna, I think it captures so many of the things I listed above. You are truly a beautiful person!

Admiration

uh oh

Can anyone tell me… if I make a video with my own little phone and then post it on my own little blog, why in the world at the end of the video it shows that you can click on the next one, which is PORN????? (It also shows the video right before it is about a beach bug of some kind.)

YIKES!!!

If you want to see what I mean, go to my post Dancing Bugs, or wait, should I remove that?? I mean, Can I remove it???

HELP!!

 

See, maybe this is why Karuna tells me I should take the Blog course, right??